Dangerous Assumptions

Lamarr stepped out of the shower and glanced at his phone. He saw a message from an “Agent Harold Folletti” and decided he could deal with it later. He dressed quickly is his business suit and grabbed his fob. If he was lucky he would get to the store just before too many people showed up.

He felt the spray of water on his face. 

 “JAX! Put that gun down!”

He heard plastic on wood followed by giggling as a four-year-old disappeared down the hall. His eyes rolled and and he grabbed the clear plastic water pistol. He looked at for a moment; since they had bought in that antique store for a quarter Jax had not stopped playing with it to the consternation of his mother. He smiled as he put the water pistol in his coat pocket and headed for the door.

“Gena, I'm out of here! See you at dinner!”

He headed out the door to his vehicle. As he pulled out of the driveway a cheap sedan pulled in. A heavy-set Italian man in a crumpled suit practically rushed out of the car a he turned the corner.

He soon arrived at Lippstein Jewelry and parked in his usual spot. He saw Jenkins and waved. “I saw the game, man; I'll have the ten at lunch!” Jenkins gave him a thumbs up. He then hustled to the front door; he had lost the bet by a Hail Mary to the end goal and the idiot running back had actually caught the ball. His team only had three seconds for a final play. He reached the door with keys in hand; only two other people were there. He apologized and opened the door.

He made a mental note to take his shower ten minutes earlier; he should be the first one here and he hadn't the last few days. The store was up and going within minutes and Marsha's drawer was counted and ready to go; he didn't know why he bothered outside of tradition as their customers only used plastic to purchase their jewelry.

Just as they were set up, there was a burst of activity as two heavyset brutes burst in, faces masked, rifles at the ready. Lamarr's eyes rolled a he reached for the silent alarm. This was only the second robbery since he had bought the store from Sherman Lippstein two years ago; he had implemented upgrades since then. The security guard should stand down; however, it should take them about 30 seconds to deal with the guard. They should then take about 90 seconds to grab as much jewelry as possible, maybe some gems. They should then take about 15 seconds to deal with the cash register.

A total of approximately 2:15.

Unfortunately for them the cafe next door had a great chicken and waffle that was popular with the local cops.

Thus, Lamarr was hardly surprised when four cops, none of whom were incredibly happy to be there, took up positions just outside the shop, weapons at the ready.

While the robbers were busy grabbing, his crew had virtually disappeared into the back room and slammed the door shut. With only the guard left in the showroom, the robbers quickly gave up. He walked out to thank the policemen, but as he walked forward he noticed a weight in his pocket. He reached in, grabbed it, and pulled it out.

A cop noticed what he had pulled out and aimed his pistol at Lamarr. “PUT THAT DOWN!” The man's partner soon had his pistol also trained on Lamarr.

Lamarr looked at what was in his hand and panicked. He put his hands up. Before he could even get his hands past his chest, the two policemen fired three times each. Lamarr fell. The scene was quickly taped off as one cop called it in and the other called the shop steward.

Agent Folletti drove up and parked his car. He flashed a badge at the cops and asked what had happened. He glared at the reporting cop, but felt bad as the cop winced. He walked over to Lamarr's body while putting on a pair of gloves and bent down. He took out an evidence bag and put the SIG Sauer Lamarr still held in his hands in the bag. “Should have answered my message, poor sod.”

He walked past the cops, telling them that it would be all right. He knew their body cams would clear them even as they lost the civil suit. He got in his vehicle and drove off, a water pistol in the bag next to him.

SCP 5154: The Bad Optics Water Pistol

Class: Safe

Description: This normally looks like a small clear water pistol, and can even be used as such. However, it becomes a SIG Sauer pistol when the person carrying it is within 10 m of a uniformed police officer.

History: The water pistol first popped in the Watts riots and has yet to really disappear. The pistol usually finds it way into the hands of someone with some sort of criminal record or other reputation of problems with law enforcement. Everything is fine, the person has a lot of fun with the water pistol, and its a great little toy. However, the person will eventually encounter the police for whatever reason, and then find themselves in possession of a firearm. Suffice to say that the person will usually end up being fired upon as they attempt to figure out where the firearm came from even as the cop see someone they know can pose a threat who now has a firearm.

Containment: The pistol is usually kept in a storage locker.

Effect: As long as the pistol is kept away from any uniformed law enforcement, it appears and acts like a clear plastic water pistol; it can be filled with approximately .1 l of liquid and used to squirt others. However, within 10 m of a uniformed law enforcement officer, it takes on the appearance of P238 SIG Sauer pistol. However, it retains the ability to squirt water, even if it can't be reloaded, and is physically incapable of firing bullets.